Life is a marathon, full of obstacles, twists, and turns. Imagine you’re actually running one. You try to keep pace with everyone else, searching for an open spot so you can surge out front, constantly looking over your shoulder to see who’s behind you. And then you stumble, you hit a rough patch, all because you were too busy paying attention to what everyone else was doing instead of focusing on the road ahead of you.
That’s how life is. And that’s how so many of us run. We forget we’re the masters of our own journey. It doesn’t matter how fast or slow everyone else is running. All that’s important is we keep pushing forward, mindful of what’s ahead of us, listening to the rhythm of our heartbeat for signs of fatigue or stress, not worrying about what’s behind us. It’s gone anyway. And like Forrest Gump, we run. When we’re tired, we sleep. When we’re hungry, we eat. When we need “to go”…. You get the point. :)
Recently, I created a video called “Passion”, which I’m sure many of you viewed. In it, I talk a lot about “being who you were meant to be”, regardless of what that is. But it goes beyond just following our heart, to do what we’re passionate about, because even when we do, we’ll inevitably hit roadblocks along the way. That’s when we find out what we’re truly made of, or as my Dad used to say, “We’re gonna separate the men from the boys now.” (Sorry ladies, it’s the only quote I could come up with!) Some of those roadblocks, of course, are beyond our control. Economic factors may confront us or health issues. But that’s not where my focus is with this piece, nor should it be yours. What I’m talking about is peer pressure, the feeling you have to be always in the lead, getting an instant fix. I’ll explain it this way. Be methodical. Plan. Organize. Manage your time wisely. Focus on your goals. Simplify your game plan and stick to it. Do what you do best, follow your instincts, and trust your heart, it will never fail you. But be mindful too that sometimes it’s good to ask for help. After all, it’s a long race and many times, an extra set of eyes, ears, and hands always come in useful. Besides, you never know when you’ll be asked for help, so be willing to give when called to the task.
Someone asked, “Okay, so you’re putting out these positive and happiness vibes, but how do we stay that way?” Good question! Staying positive and maintaining happiness starts and ends from within. It’s recognizing that which we already know and possess deep in our souls. The real. The familiar. It doesn’t come from external factors like googling positive quotes, surfing the web, or reading a bunch of self-help books. Happiness is a state of mind. It’s looking beyond what we see in front of us; all the tragedy and heartache, into those things and people that bless our lives with how they make us feel inside. It can be a word, a phrase, a bird, a flower, a song, or just one person. It’s being thankful for who and what we have, not what we don’t. But whatever it is that brings us happiness, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem, we run with it. It’s our race to win or lose. In a word, it’s acceptance.
It’s saying, “I don’t care what the world throws at me, I’ll catch what I want, what’s tasty, real, and fulfilling, and throw back what I don’t.” It’s thinking outside the lines of our little comfort zones where we feel all safe and secure into a world that involves risk. No one ever set sail by standing on the dock. It’s not making lemonade out of lemons. It’s making lemon meringue pie. It’s living with no regrets because where we are at this moment in time is exactly where we’re supposed to be. It’s this…..
This past March, I wrote a piece here entitled “Birds of a Feather”, the gist of which is we attract people in our lives who not only think like we do, but also act upon those thoughts. The purpose of this chapter is to see how we can apply the law of attraction in a practical sense in our daily life.
By way of background, here’s some snippets from the blog post written last March: Wikipedia defines the “Law of Attraction” like this: The Law of Attraction is a metaphysical New Thought belief that "like attracts like”, that positive and negative thinking bring about positive and negative physical results, respectively. According to the Law of Attraction, the phrase “I need more money"allows the subject to continue to “need more money". If the subject wants to change this they would focus their thoughts on the goal (having more money) rather than the problem (needing more money). This might take the form of phrases such as “I will make more money"or “I will find a job that pays very well". Now, let’s stop there for a moment for another key point about this blog. When I write, I attempt to do so in ways that the reader can identify with by sharing some of my own experiences with the topic at hand, in this case what I’d rather describe as “Birds of a feather flock together!”
Similarly, when you examine your own life, think about who and what you want in your life. Look back on the definition described above about the Law of Attraction. Personally, I don’t believe it takes a rocket scientist to figure out this simple concept: If you think and act in a negative fashion, in whatever aspect of your life, whether personally or professionally, chances are pretty good the results WILL be negative. Of course, the same holds true the other way. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m NOT saying just because you think positively all the time your life will be perfect. We know that’s simply not the case. But by consciously attempting to do so every day, even with the simplest and most trivial of things, chances are good that eventually, your life will transform to what you WANT it to be. It’s really that simple. My own experience stands as a testament to that statement and I can GUARANTEE you that if you continue say and do the “right"things, your life WILL become far better than you can possibly imagine! As Will Smith said during one of his interviews about his views on life, “First, you decide. Then you just do it. Period. It’s that simple. There’s no need for Plan B because it distracts from Plan A.” Powerful words aren’t they?
Three and a half years ago, I was in a “place” where I thought I had the world figured out. And I was proud of it. Problem was, it was false pride. Before long, that world blew up in my face, figuratively speaking. I nearly lost it all because I was too proud to admit I had problems. I was too busy trying to be something I wasn’t designed for. I was totally lost. Lost financially, spiritually, mentally, personally, and professionally. It wasn’t until a series of tragic events occurred that I finally “awakened.” Today, I look back and realize I was a very blessed man and still am, even MORE so! In spite of losing my job, my home, my children, and financial security, today I’m happier than I’ve been for as long as I can remember. Why? Because I CHOSE to LIVE. I CHOSE to change, to seek out people I WANTED in my life. People who not only THINK positively, but also ACT positively, every day to the best of their ability.
As a result of this NEW way of living and new way of life, I’ve had people come into my life that still astounds me. People of substance. People of character. People of honor, respect, dignity, and sincerity. Many of them I’ve “met” on Facebook. People like Cheryl Maloney who lives in Oregon, page owner of Simple Steps Real Change, one that has over 50,000 members and counting. John from Australia, page owner of Spiritual Warrior, with over 13,000 members. Laura Barrette Shannon, page owner of Be Happy Now: Simple Steps to Enjoying Life, an author who lives in Florida, and who has a book to be published soon. Dennisse Lisseth, page owner of Exceptional Living, one of the fastest growing Facebook pages at this very moment, with over 60,000 members, and who also lives in Florida. Tiffany Marrufo, page owner of Beyond Yesterday and Vivaciously Designed Coaching. Lisa Blake, who lives in South Dakota, page owner of Motivation for Life, and a certified life coach. Natalie Ryan-Ramirez, page owner of Wise Widowed Parents with over 4,000 followers, a widow herself and also a single parent of a 9 and 7 year old. The list goes on and on, these people are just those that come to mind immediately, and I’ve probably just scratched the surface of the number of people and Facebook pages “out there” I’m not aware of yet. But that doesn’t mean I don’t WANT to discover them!
Why did I mention these people? All of them have something in common. Like me, they’ve encountered personal tragedies and obstacles in their lives, yet all of them have seen one form of success or another in their life at some point. For instance, Cheryl Maloney is a lady who had what appears to be an enormously successful career in the corporate world, only to lose her job a few years back because of a merger. After that, tragedies kept coming. Her husband contracted cancer and her father died. Like me, she discovered the job market wasn’t an easy nut to crack, but she also made the conscious CHOICE to seek “simple steps” to changing her life. The rest, as they say, is history. And take my friend John, the “Spiritual Warrior” from Australia. Here’s a guy who nearly lost his life in a truck accident in 1982, and who then fell victim to depression and addiction for many years before the blinkers came off in 1997. Today, he’s embarking on changing other people’s lives, using his own experiences. Laura, my author friend from Florida, lost her daughter in an accident a few years back, something that would destroy most of us, but she too, CHOSE to make something positive out of that experience. Dennisse Lisseth, a young woman from Florida who has an infectious zest for life, and who also left the corporate world a few years ago, has overcome depression, and today is a successful entrepreneur. Lisa Blake, another lady who’s encountered obstacles like most of us have, but who has also embarked on a career coaching others, utilizing her talents and experiences. Then there’s Tiffany Marrufo, who’s overcome substance abuse, and another successful life coach. And finally, there’s Natalie Ryan-Ramirez, an absolutely amazing woman, and one whom I’m honored to know personally. Less than 3 years ago, she lost her husband of 21 years after a short battle with cancer and today, has ambitions of helping other widowed parents with surviving dependent children, through the use of her nonprofit organization.
All of these people are in my life for a reason. But how? And why? First, because I created them. Yes, you heard me right. If not for the fact that I made a conscious CHOICE several years ago, a decision to make lemon meringue pie out of the lemons life left on my plate, and LONG before the creation of this website or my Facebook page, I never would have had the honor of knowing any of these people. Unbeknownst to me, the forces were set in motion long ago. Call it fate, serendipity, or divine intervention, it all means the same. I attracted these people into my life, and not just with my words, but with my actions. The reason why they’re here now is to help propel me to the next level of my journey. Hopefully, and God willing, I can help them in some humble fashion in return.
Therein is the lesson and message for you. WHO do you want in your life? Many times, without ever realizing it, we create relationships and circumstances we don’t fully comprehend until much later. The door to a new way of life and a new way of living is locked inside, at least until you make some simple CHOICES and take action. The key for each of you is to ask yourself some basic questions. Think of it this way. What personal characteristics do you value? Both in yourself and others? Make a choice and decide. It’s that simple. And if there’s something you see inside about yourself that you’re not fond of, start taking action NOW. Because until you do, you’ll never attract who and what you want in life.
Like Will Smith says, “I WANT to do good. I WANT the world to be better because I was here. I WANT my life, my work, my family; I want it to mean something. If you’re not making someone else’s life better, then you’re wasting your time.”
“Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” ~ Steven Jobs.
I’ve written extensively here advising you to follow your heart, to do what you do best. So many times I see people stuck in jobs or situations that offer rewards of material wealth and yet they remain unhappy. They allow their minds to dictate their actions instead of their heart. In spite of that statement, it’s also true that many times you can be very good at doing something, something you’re passionate about, and still remain unfulfilled! What then?
Here’s a personal example of what I mean. When I was still a young boy, I discovered I had a knack with numbers. My Dad used to ask his insurance agent to stop by our farm, usually in the evenings after Dad finished his day’s work, to go over some of his insurance agent’s proposals. I recall clearly one time how his agent pulled out a calculator to tally up some numbers. Unbeknownst to both of them, I “saw” the numbers, wrote them down on a piece of paper with a pencil and had added them up correctly before his agent could finish the job on his calculator. I proudly displayed the answer, Dad just grinned at his agent, and they both burst out laughing.
Of course, years later, after graduating from college, I went on to a 25 year career in the financial world, primarily as a loan officer for the bank in the town where I grew up. I became so adept at my job I was eventually promoted to Senior Loan Officer. As the years went by though, I became less and less enamored with my situation. Something was missing. After a series of fateful and unfortunate events starting in 2007, I eventually discovered the missing piece to the puzzle. Though I’d always enjoyed the numbers and was told I was quite good at it, I was also told by my supervisors that I needed work on “people” skills. Funny thing is, and without being fully aware of it at the time, what I liked most about my job wasn’t the numbers, it was the interaction, the relationships that really spurred the passion from within.
It was only AFTER I left the bank when I discovered what my real passion is and started applying it in a practical sense. What I didn’t realize for so many years started surfacing in late 2008 and early 2009. It was expressing myself in written fashion. All those years of writing loan narratives turned out to be what I really enjoy; the power of the written word and how I can influence people in a positive sense with it. And so this blog was born, along with my Facebook page called Gusto in April 2010. The rest is history. Today, there’s been people representing over 50 countries around the world visit my website to read some of my “musings” and over 3,300 follow my Facebook page.
If you find yourself in a similar situation as I did, ask yourself some basic fundamental questions. What characteristics or skill sets am I really good at? Am I in a position where I’m taking full advantage of those characteristics? At first, you might think the position you’re in, is in line with those characteristics. But then, ask yourself this question, “Am I happy?” If not, look deeper. You might discover what your passion truly is. And regardless what you find, follow your heart’s instincts. They rarely betray you. You may also find that what your passion is doesn’t bring a big paycheck but, as we all know, happiness doesn’t come from a checkbook. It comes from inside.
Finally, if what I just wrote doesn’t convince you, then read this. It’s an article I found about Steve Jobs’ life on the internet. I apologize for not remembering the source to give proper credit but perhaps you’ll get the point. It may just change your life.
1. Do what you love.Jobs once said, "People with passion can change the world for the better." Asked about the advice he would offer would-be entrepreneurs, he said, "I'd get a job as a busboy or something until I figured out what I was really passionate about." That's how much it meant to him. Passion is everything.
2. Put a dent in the universe.Jobs believed in the power of vision. He once asked then-Pepsi President, John Sculley, "Do you want to spend your life selling sugar water or do you want to change the world?" Don't lose sight of the big vision.
3. Make connections.Jobs once said creativity is connecting things. He meant that people with a broad set of life experiences can often see things that others miss. He took calligraphy classes that didn't have any practical use in his life -- until he built the Macintosh. Jobs traveled to India and Asia. He studied design and hospitality. Don't live in a bubble. Connect ideas from different fields.
4. Say no to 1,000 things.Jobs was as proud of what Apple chose not to do as he was of what Apple did. When he returned in Apple in 1997, he took a company with 350 products and reduced them to 10 products in a two-year period. Why? So he could put the "A-Team" on each product. What are you saying "no" to?
5. Create insanely different experiences.Jobs also sought innovation in the customer-service experience. When he first came up with the concept for the Apple Stores, he said they would be different because instead of just moving boxes, the stores would enrich lives. Everything about the experience you have when you walk into an Apple store is intended to enrich your life and to create an emotional connection between you and the Apple brand. What are you doing to enrich the lives of your customers?
6. Master the message.You can have the greatest idea in the world, but if you can't communicate your ideas, it doesn't matter. Jobs was the world's greatest corporate storyteller. Instead of simply delivering a presentation like most people do, he informed, he educated, he inspired and he entertained, all in one presentation.
7. Sell dreams, not products.Jobs captured our imagination because he really understood his customer. He knew that tablets would not capture our imaginations if they were too complicated. The result? One button on the front of an iPad. It's so simple, a 2-year-old can use it. Your customers don't care about your product. They care about themselves, their hopes, their ambitions. Jobs taught us that if you help your customers reach their dreams, you'll win them over.
There's one story that I think sums up Jobs' career at Apple. An executive who had the job of reinventing the Disney Store once called up Jobs and asked for advice. His counsel? Dream bigger. I think that's the best advice he could leave us with. See genius in your craziness, believe in yourself, believe in your vision, and be constantly prepared to defend those ideas.
Gus, I want to thank you for the wonderful work that you do, to lift others up.I just watched the 20 words to change your life and wow.That was the icing on the cake.
I am a 63 year old woman from a very dysfunctional background, severely abused as a child and adult, low self-esteem, much illness, breast cancer survivor, head injury survivor, disabled, broke, worried about my future, and you lift me up every day.Right now my living conditions are just above being homeless, I worked all my life but am disabled with no savings.I had to reverse mortgage my home to stay in it and to help a relative who was nasty and let me down afterwards, my HVAC is broken, I fell today and suffer constant headaches because my glasses are so old and they want $500 for new glasses, everything just piling up on me and I am so discouraged.I had some character assassination going on in August and September from people who I had helped and were jealous of my spiritual wealth and independence, and it drove me to nearly ending it.I have never done anything like that in my life but I am so worried and desperate right now. I love Joyce Meyer and Wayne Dyer and even wrote last night to ask if there was a scholarship for the You Can Do It conference in Tampa next month.I've always wanted to go and now really NEED to.I am just down and out.I have helped others all my life to the neglect of myself because of this low self esteem thing which I am working to relieve myself of now.It's never too late!I cannot see correctly even.So much.
I can't tell you Gus, how much your encouragements mean to me to at least keep me on a positive note from moment to moment.I am very grateful for your work, you are a blessing to me!Thank you so much!Gratitude abounds!: )
That was an email message I received out of the blue a few nights ago from a loyal fan and member of my Facebook page called Gusto. What makes hers so encouraging is how she has made the conscious CHOICE to remain positive in the face of so many difficulties. And although this message is quite personal in nature, I believe her story is not unlike so many of us in this day and age, at least from the perspective of hardship. There are certainly many more.
For example, not long ago I conducted a teleconference with a few of the members of my Facebook page, all of whom are experiencing struggles in life in one form or another, including health issues, career problems, family difficulties, and so on. And then there are those who, by virtue of some of their comments on various posts on my Facebook page, reveal patterns remarkably similar. These individuals are expressing the same problems in life many of us are facing. Some have made the choice like I have, to find something positive in their life they can cling to in the face of seemingly insurmountable obstacles. Others however, are stuck in a negative vortex. They can’t seem to pull themselves out of the rut they’re in. They complain and bemoan about their lot in life.
Why do some of us seem afflicted with nothing but pain and hardship in life while others seem to be on easy street? Why do some of us struggle with life issues while others seem to always find a way to keep moving forward in a positive light?
I’ve written here before about a topic and phrase entitled “acceptance is the answer.” Some of you reading this know the source from which that phrase originated. And though some may believe it’s designed only for those who are following diligent “steps” in their path of self-recovery, I’ve maintained for some time that phrase applies to ALL of us, regardless of our particular circumstances or misfortunes. That book is about LIFE.
“Acceptance is the answer to all of your problems today. When you are disturbed, it is because you find some person, place, thing, or situation ---- some fact of your life ---- unacceptable to you, and you can find no serenity until you accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake. Unless you accept completely life's terms, you cannot be happy. You need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in you and your attitudes.”
Powerful words. They’ve changed my life. They can change yours, too. But remember, not only is life hard, it can unexpectedly become harder. One day we might be comfortably cruising along, and then suddenly it seems like everything is going wrong: Your marriage is in shambles, or you’ve just discovered that you’re not as financially stable as you thought, or you suddenly lose a lover, friend, or family member. The world has changed. Everything seems ominous and uncertain.
That’s when you can fall into the trap of pessimism and negativity. It may seem like the natural thing to do given what you’re going through. How can we work on building a healthy and optimistic way of living when we’re overcome with pain, anxiety, and fear? But no matter how hard things become, there are ways to approach your situation that can make it less burdensome.
Here are four ways to stay positive when life gets you down:
Express Gratitude.Be mindful about what you do have, whether it’s a fantastic friend or a wonderful partner. Try making a list of things you’re grateful for every night for two weeks. It can be even more powerful to express gratitude to someone who you feel truly thankful for. Write them a letter telling them how they have helped you. Additionally, try to cultivate a sense of gratitude in everyday life for things both major and minor. Thank that stranger who goes a little out of his way to hold the door open for you. Appreciating the good in the world can change the way you look at life.
Volunteer. Take your awareness outside of yourself and focus it on the well-being of others. This may not be possible if you’re in crisis mode, but it can be very helpful if you’re increasingly preoccupied by your own negative thoughts. Many studies have shown that community service and philanthropy are more satisfying over the long term than focusing on your problems. Try volunteering at your local library, homeless shelter or hospital.You can become less focused on the bad stuff you’ve been dealing with—and even form a connection with others in the process.
Notice the Good. It might seem nearly impossible to find the silver lining in a burdensome situation, but it can be helpful.Maybe you’ve gone through some personal growth and change because of what’s happened, or you’ve become closer to someone.
Change Negative Self-Talk. It’s way too easy to think the same negative thoughts over and over again. However, you can learn to change this by doing some cognitive-behavioral therapy on yourself. When you notice yourself having a negative thought about yourself, replace it with a positive one. If you find yourselfthinking “It’s all my fault” or “I’m not good enough,” stop and remind yourself of how well you’ve been coping and how others appreciate you.
The bottom line on becoming and remaining optimistic: We can’t change what happens to us or to loved ones, but we can change how we react to it. And though that process may take some time, it’s worth it because of the joy and peace of mind optimism can bring.
Finally, if nothing else, maybe this will help. The same thing my friend said in her email was “the icing on the cake!”
