April 24, 2010

"That Date"

Blog. What the hell is that anyway? Big Load of Gossip? I've been thinking about that one since I created this bad boy on April 9th. "Googled it" in fact. There's one. Google it. Ever notice how, sometimes when someone asks you a question in this day and age of the internet you don't know the answer? What do you say? Easy. GOOGLE IT! LMAO! Funny thing is, or frightening when you think about it, you can google just about anything. And I really really mean ANYTHING! Anywho, I'm rambling...

So's, after I googled it I find some times it refers to a self-journal. Check. Been doing that since June 5th, 2008. There's "that date". June 5th, 2008. A day that started like so many ones before it for a long time, but had really been just the same day, day after day after day after....you get the idea, right? Maybe not. Here's how it started.

June 5th, 2008. Wake up. Go to the fridge, shaking. Grab it and "pop one open". Next thing I know I'm headed to the liquor store shortly after lunch (can't remember if I had eaten anything yet come to think of it) for a 12-pack to get me through the rest of the day. By now, I was well over a twelve-pack a day, every day, for what seemed like forever. Not after today. And not ever again, at least until right now at this very second as I type. Fast forward to this moment. April 24th, 2010. As I'm typing I remember many favorite things and favorite sayings, and I mean MANY over the nearly 2 years that has passed. One of them is this. "I haven't had so much as a sniff of alcohol other than what I get from my $3 aqua velva that I get from the $1 Dollar General Store." That's me. You know the drill, well maybe you don't. "Hi, my name is Gus and I'm an alcoholic." Seems strange how it just rolls off the tongue now. No shame. No regrets. No hiding. No pretense. It just IS. That's one of the funny parts. People say, "Don't you have any regrets???" Some seem shocked when I calmly say, "No." "Why?" "Because, if I did, it means only one thing. I haven't learned a damn thing." So, I'm here to tell you friends I've learned A LOT since "that date."

Think I'll stop there for a while, give you some time to absorb that a little, and I'll start filling you in on the days following "that date" at another time.

"Gusto"

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